by Jake Christie

a story.

Start going right. Jump, just to make sure you know how to do it. Swing your sword for the same reason. Shoot your gun. Jump again.

Attack the first thing you see. Don't ask why; just do it. Give no quarter. Show no remorse. Convince yourself that they deserved whatever they got simply because they were moving left. There are only two types of people in this world 1-1: those who go right and those who go left. There isn't enough room for both.

Go right. Admire the scenery as you pass. Meditate on its uniformity. Marvel at its repetition. The landscape will always be just behind you, close enough that you can almost touch it but just out of reach. Literally, figuratively, and perpetually in the background. Jump on a block. Cut down whatever it is that impedes your progress.

Fight an enemy (you've decided that's what they all are – enemies) who tries to sneak up behind you. Shoot him even though he's going right. Reason that while he was going right, he could have chosen to go left at any time, and implicit in his going right is his going left, or something. Not like you. You couldn't go left even if you wanted to. If for some reason you took a few steps left you'd hit an invisible wall, unable to backtrack – to regress – any further. Anyone who can breach that wall, even if they're technically moving right, is really moving left, and no friend of yours. Destroy them. Might makes right. Right makes right.

Go right. Jump over a pit. Collect things without knowing what they are or how you'll use them. Feel a sense of accomplishment for no discernible reason other than simply having more. Upgrade your things. Diversify.

Die. Start over. Re-collect, re-upgrade. Learn from your mistakes. Make the jump this time. Keep going. Find the castle. Trespass like you were invited. Study the boss's moves and reassure yourself that you're smarter, better, and more righteous than he is. He is a big fish in a little pond, and you are a pond-jumping shark with legs and a gun. End his reign of terror.

Don't find the princess. Instead, find yourself in another world. Notice the change in scenery. Listen for the change in music. Forget about the castle, because you can't even see the castle anymore. The castle is somewhere off to the left. Jump, just to make sure you still can.

Start going right.

Share on Facebook | back to