by Jake Christie

MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY.
a story.

– My guest in the studio today is actress Chastity DeLuxxxe. Ms. DeLuxxxe has starred in more than 200 adult films, and has earned a reputation as one of the most prolific and popular adult film stars working today. Ms. DeLuxxxe, thank you for joining me.

– You're very welcome. Though I must admit, I disagree with the term “adult films.”

– What do you prefer?

– “Films with mature themes.”

– But do you concede that your films are for adults only, not for children?

– Well, I guess that depends on how open-minded your children are.

– Fair enough. How are you doing today, Chastity?

Exhausted. I just finished filming a scene for my latest film, In Through the Exit.

– What's that about?

– It's an examination of Jean-Paul Sartre's play No Exit. Many consider it to be one of the finest examples of existentialism ever crafted. My costar and I spend the film discussing the work as a whole and dissecting Joseph, Ines, Estelle, and the Valet as characters. The final part of the film – the climax, you might say – is an analysis of Sartre's most famous quote, “Hell is other people.”

– That does sound tiring.

– He was pounding away at my rhetoric for hours. At least it felt that way!

– Now, as I understand it, you're no stranger to feats of endurance. Is it true that you once debated the moral arguments surrounding assisted suicide with four men at once?

– Four men and one woman! Yes, that was for Lay There and Take It. My throat was sore for days after that, but I think my enthusiasm really comes through on the screen.

– Definitely not a film for kids. Chastity, do you have a favorite performer to work with?

– I've done a number of films with Guy Normous. His didactic skills are just huge.

– Are there any misconceptions about the adult film industry that you'd like to address?

– Well, there are some people who believe that we performers are forced into having deep, lengthy conversations on mature themes, but I haven't met a single performer with a story like that. All of our discussions are consensual and we get compensated accordingly. Also, there are critics who say that adult films will never have any place in the mainstream, and I couldn't disagree more. I believe my films are perfectly enjoyable to anybody with an open mind. If movies glorifying sex and violence can win at the box office, I think mature films like mine, for mature audiences, have a place as well. That's why I do this – so people can be more accepting and understanding towards new experiences and the world around us.

– Well said. Chastity, thank you for being here.

– Thank you. Fans can find more information about my upcoming film Hot and Wet, a measured discussion of the first world's part and responsibility in climate change, at my website. Just make sure you get the right Chastity DeLuxxxe. There's another girl with a similar name, and what she does is absolutely disgusting.


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