by Jake Christie

a story.

“Stop, villains!” commanded Supreme Lady, blocking the alley with a powerful hands-on-the-hips stance. The muggers turned to beat a hasty retreat and found the other end of the alley blocked by Corporal X-Ray, standing legs akimbo in all his spandexed glory.

The larger mugger, holding three separate purses, clutched them to his chest, as if he could absorb the money through osmosis.

“Crime may pay, but I'm not sure you can afford the bill,” quipped Corporal X-Ray.

“Lay facedown on the pavement,” commanded Supreme Lady.

The muggers looked at each other, then back at Corporal X-Ray, who smiled a giant white smile. They reluctantly dropped to their knees.

“First smart thing you've done all day,” said Supreme Lady. She walked up behind them and pushed them forward, then put one supreme knee on each of their backs.

Corporal X-Ray snickered.

“What?” said Supreme Lady, looking up.

“It's just--” started Corporal X-Ray. “Nothing, it's nothing.” He straightened his expression to match the stern,stoic look from the press conferences. Then another laugh attempted to escape, making a sound like an incontinent duck.

“Seriously, what?” said Supreme Lady.

“The position you're in just looks funny, that's all.” He stifled the laugh down to a smile.

“Oh, jeez,” said Supreme Lady. She rolled her eyes. “Seriously?”

“It's X-Ray Vision! I can't turn it off!” said Corporal X-Ray. “I'm not laughing at you. You look good.”

“You just said I look funny,” she said. She put her hands on her hips. The muggers squirmed on the pavement.

“I said the position looks funny. You look...” His cheeks flushed red, the color of his spandex. “You look supremely fantastic.”

Supreme Lady quickly crossed her arms over her chest. Corporal X-Ray looked down, at the two muggers on the ground.

“Glad I'm lying facedown,” the large one whispered to the other.

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